Things that make me go *gag*


I told myself that starting January 1, I was going to be better about posting on this blog.  I guess it’s only January 6th, so I shouldn’t be too hard on myself, but I’m definitely slacking.  Man.  6 days in, already behind.

The thing is, we got iPhone’s for Christmas (well…2 weeks before Christmas…but I put them in our stockings to make it feel more real), so I got all jazzed about the WordPress app.  OMG – I could do EVERYTHING from my iPhone!  Unfortunately I got nothing but errors when trying to load the blog, and after doing a little reasearch into ratings and such, it seems I’m not the only one who had these issues.  Boo. 

So I guess my point is, it’s not my fault!  Clearly WordPress has something against my posting.  It’s a conspiracy.  Just like all those dead birds and fish…I bet WordPress had something to do with them too. 

I suppose I’ll have to sit at an actual computer to post a blog. 

Isn’t it funny how something that seemed so simple, can turn to such a “burden” with the introduction of new technology?  Remember how super amazingly cool cordless phones were when they first came out?  You could finally throw out that extra long cord – you know, the one that allowed you to walk all over your room while still on the phone with your BFF?  Then cell phones came out, and we were all OMG my cordless phone doesn’t even WORK when I walk to the neighbors house!  Ludicrous!!  Now here I am complaining that my cell phone application doesn’t easily allow me to create a blog post. 

Maybe I should get my extra long cord back out for a day, then see how much of a “burden” this really is. 🙂

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It’s been awhile.  My bad.  Let’s just jump back in, hmm?

Yesterday was awesome.  Read: HEINOUS.

First we took the skitties to the vet for their annual visit.  Some were just plain terrified

Others were little assholes who MEEEOOOWWWWWed the whole way there

But I won’t name names.

Then we got home, and Josh proceeded to empty any and all stomach contents via violent vomiting all day.

(don’t worry, there will never be a picture of someone hurling on here.  GAG)

While he was busy dieing and the sky opened up and released one hell of a thunderstorm on the south, I cleaned like the dickens.  And worried for my life that one of those huge oaks in our backyard would fall on my while my normal rescuer lay helpless upstairs, unable to save me.

And then, due to my obvious distractions,  I dyed my beautiful, expensive, cream colored towels that we received as a wedding gift TURQUOISE, thanks to a lovely scarf.

Aren’t you jealous of my fabulous day?  I know.

Today was going much better, until I sat down to write this post on my patio and a bird promptly pooped on my shirt.  And hand.

Is it Monday yet??

When I quit my heinous 60+hrs/wk sales job last July, I told myself I would only take a job that required 40hrs per week MAX.  A punch in at 9, out at 5, no one giving you the evil eye if you left before 6:30 or calling you on the weekend with a thousand problems kind of job.  I put my foot down.  !  My personal life is MY OWN, gosh durnit, and I’ll be damned if any company tries to drain my soul away.  So there.

About a month later an old coworker, who had moved into an executive role at a sister company, called and said Oh GinaRose, I have this coordinator job that’s stricly 9-5, no OT, is totally brainless and is only a 4 month contract.  PERFECT!  I showed up, coordinated, left at 5:30 every day, and didn’t waste one extra second at home thinking about work.

But my teensy HR department started noticing that I had some free time, and some other skills (I got SKILZ, ya’ll), and so I started helping out the managers and the VP on some projects.  All well and good, because I was still leaving at 5:30.

Well apparently word got around that I could coordinate projects like a mother (SKILZ) and so another VP asked if he could pull me away from HR for 3 weeks for “just a little project”.  Word to the wise: your version of “just a little project” may be a little different than said VP’s.  Holy mother of pearl.  Last week I put in over 45hrs, and that’s only because they capped my OT and made me leave early Friday.  This week, probably going to be 50+.

Goodbye, getting home before 7:30pm and dinner before 9.  Goodbye not thinking about work after 5:30.  Goodbye days where I only truly “worked” for a few hours, and spent the rest of the day catching up on all of my favorites in the bloggy universe!

I’m glad this project is ending next week.  I don’t know how much more of this work nonsense I can take!

I can’t sleep.  This NEVER happens to me.

Usually I’m that annoying person who’s head hit’s the pillow and within 10 seconds I’ve hit a REM cycle, complete with open mouth breathing and the occasional dribble of drool.  (Totally hot, I know)

But not tonight!  Not now.  Nope.  I’ve been laying here for OVER AN HOUR and not one wink of the good stuff.  I even tried meditating.  Josh said he tried it earlier this week when he couldn’t sleep, but unfortunately for me it goes something like this

Ok… in through the nose, out through the mouth…shit I can’t breathe through my nose….stupid pollen…FOCUS…Breathe…maybe I should breathe in rhythm with Josh….breathe, breathe, breathe…shit how is he not hyperventalating? Who breathes this fast while sleeping?….FOCUS!….breathe….breathe….of course the cats would choose NOW to lick each other clean 6 inches from my head…that’s really a weird sound up close….breathe….breathe….breathe….FUCK

So, now I’m even more distracted than I was before the “meditation”.  And now that I’m thinking about it, I’m pretty sure that when Josh told me about the meditation technique he was complaining that it didn’t work.

Well screw you , hot yoga man from my home video (do they even call them that anymore?  Is it now a home dvd?), I don’t need your au natural breathing nonsense.  I sat up and went for the big guns (love you zanax!) about 15 minutes ago, and just had my first big yawn.

Wish me luck getting to dreamland, because I can guaranDAMNtee you that tomorrow night in a cabin with the in laws will not go over so well on less than 5hrs of sleep.

No more of this.

Or this…

Or this (probably good for Josh’s shoulder, actually)

Definitely none of this water

But at least we’re going to have this tomorrow!

Gatlinburg TN Cabin

  

Late last week I stomped my feet and waved my arms in the air and was all OMG BIATCH QUIT USING 47 COMMAS IN ONE SENTENCE!   And then my amazing husband proofread for spelling errors, and I stepped off my soapbox and went on my merry way.  

Please allow me to hop back up on my snazzy little soapbox for a moment.   

ahem  

I just received the following e-mail:  

Thanks but it was a user error i typed my name and password which was my name a couple of different ways and i got through i will try to get some of the classes done today but i do work tomorrow and then i will try to finish what i need to do and then…..do I wait for N*** to call or will he let me know what I need to do 

 

Um, I’ll tell you what you need to do.  You need to go back to the 3rd grade and learn how to WRITE A PROPER SENTENCE.   

Because I’m in HR, I am privy to the fact that you are 34 years old.  According to my not-so-stellar math skills (still better than your writing skills!  BAM!), that puts you approximately 26 YEARS behind in your writing skills.   

With the exception of the 5 periods randomly tossed into this giant sentence (and by the way, it’s called an ellipsis and you only need 3) there is absolutely no punctuation.  Not even a period to signify that it’s over, which leads me to believe that he’s still rambling on somewhere.  

So now I can’t decide what’s worse: 47 commas, or ZERO punctuation.

I do not claim to be a grammar queen. I’m not perfect, was not an English major, and would probably not be able to perfectly diagram a complex sentence.

HOWEVER.

There is a woman I work with who consistently overuses comma’s, and OMG it makes me want to pull, her, hair, out.

Why does this bother me? Because punctuation is there for a reason. When there is an exclamation point, my internal voice get excited! A question mark? Little voice goes UP?

And when there is a comma, I, pause. So when, you misuse, or overuse, a comma, I am constantly stopping, and, starting, in my head. And that drives me BONKERS.

Example of said e-mail:

He said he was on the road, today, and was stopping to do the paperwork, however for some reason, all he did was accept the position. I’ve left him another message, so hopefully he can get to it, today.

DUDE. Is that, really, necessary? I’ll answer that one for you: NO. You can have a nice long sentence with no commas at all and have it still be grammatically correct! It’s amazing!

So I got all passive aggressive and responded with this:

I did receive the fax, from him, and everything looked great. However, I have not received the DT results, yet.

It didn’t work:

He took it, yesterday.

It actually IS a little funny, because this woman is one of the slowest speakers I’ve ever had the *pleasure* of listening to. Although if I were going to describe the way she speaks in text, I wouldn’t overuse commas, but instead I would reaallllllyyy drrawww out worrrrrrrrdsssss.

I know I type all crazy on this blog. I use CAPS and exclamation! points! a lot! And I’m all OMG, STFU. And I start sentences with conjunctions. BUT, this is a blog that I write for fun – not the workplace.

So, can we all agree, to make a little, extra, effort, when e-mailing, at work? PLEASE,

***If you like the cartoon at the top as much as I do, click here for more***

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