Nonsense


Floppy tulips from the backyard make for a better day 🙂

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WordPress for the iPhone is finally working! Quite frankly I can’t believe an app can make me this happy, but I’ll take my highs where I can get them.

It’s funny, when you can’t drink, exercise, or eat deliciously unpasturized cheeses, it really is the little things that do it for you!

I just want to know why, when I search “brown and white nursery” in google images, it pulls up this image:

WTF??

I can’t sleep.  This NEVER happens to me.

Usually I’m that annoying person who’s head hit’s the pillow and within 10 seconds I’ve hit a REM cycle, complete with open mouth breathing and the occasional dribble of drool.  (Totally hot, I know)

But not tonight!  Not now.  Nope.  I’ve been laying here for OVER AN HOUR and not one wink of the good stuff.  I even tried meditating.  Josh said he tried it earlier this week when he couldn’t sleep, but unfortunately for me it goes something like this

Ok… in through the nose, out through the mouth…shit I can’t breathe through my nose….stupid pollen…FOCUS…Breathe…maybe I should breathe in rhythm with Josh….breathe, breathe, breathe…shit how is he not hyperventalating? Who breathes this fast while sleeping?….FOCUS!….breathe….breathe….of course the cats would choose NOW to lick each other clean 6 inches from my head…that’s really a weird sound up close….breathe….breathe….breathe….FUCK

So, now I’m even more distracted than I was before the “meditation”.  And now that I’m thinking about it, I’m pretty sure that when Josh told me about the meditation technique he was complaining that it didn’t work.

Well screw you , hot yoga man from my home video (do they even call them that anymore?  Is it now a home dvd?), I don’t need your au natural breathing nonsense.  I sat up and went for the big guns (love you zanax!) about 15 minutes ago, and just had my first big yawn.

Wish me luck getting to dreamland, because I can guaranDAMNtee you that tomorrow night in a cabin with the in laws will not go over so well on less than 5hrs of sleep.

No more of this.

Or this…

Or this (probably good for Josh’s shoulder, actually)

Definitely none of this water

But at least we’re going to have this tomorrow!

Gatlinburg TN Cabin

Today I am going to be positive.  All day. 

I’m going to take that Voice of Negativity in my head, shove it down onto a rickety chair in the corner of my mind, point my finger in it’s face and emphatically tell that Voice to SHUT. IT.   Simultaneously I will be handing the Voice of Positivity a mic and telling it to SPEAK! UP!

So let’s kick this off with a bang, shall we? 

Things I Am Grateful For Today:

  • It was a beautiful morning – cool, crisp, clear skies with a suggestion of rain, but not for awhile
  • My amazing husband, who I am absolutely, positively, head over heels in love with every single day
  • That my amazing husband has not quit the job he *ahem* likes so we can still pay our bills
  • Our beautiful home
  • I have a job that helps to PAY for that beautiful home
  • The job I have now doesn’t do to my soul what I’m doing to The Bad Voice today
  • My parents and in-laws are spectacular and supportive
  • Our health
  • The Skitties
  • We’re going to the BAHAMAS in 3 days!  Yeah yeah yeah yeah
  • I’ve got four scheduled photo sessions over the next 6 weeks, with 3 more pending (a record!)

 

Rainbows!  Sunshine!

P.S. Apparently yesterday was list day, not today.  But since I just got around to reading them this morning, I’m going to pretend that they were written today.  So there.

  

Late last week I stomped my feet and waved my arms in the air and was all OMG BIATCH QUIT USING 47 COMMAS IN ONE SENTENCE!   And then my amazing husband proofread for spelling errors, and I stepped off my soapbox and went on my merry way.  

Please allow me to hop back up on my snazzy little soapbox for a moment.   

ahem  

I just received the following e-mail:  

Thanks but it was a user error i typed my name and password which was my name a couple of different ways and i got through i will try to get some of the classes done today but i do work tomorrow and then i will try to finish what i need to do and then…..do I wait for N*** to call or will he let me know what I need to do 

 

Um, I’ll tell you what you need to do.  You need to go back to the 3rd grade and learn how to WRITE A PROPER SENTENCE.   

Because I’m in HR, I am privy to the fact that you are 34 years old.  According to my not-so-stellar math skills (still better than your writing skills!  BAM!), that puts you approximately 26 YEARS behind in your writing skills.   

With the exception of the 5 periods randomly tossed into this giant sentence (and by the way, it’s called an ellipsis and you only need 3) there is absolutely no punctuation.  Not even a period to signify that it’s over, which leads me to believe that he’s still rambling on somewhere.  

So now I can’t decide what’s worse: 47 commas, or ZERO punctuation.

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