Acting like I'm 5


I would like to start this by saying that I have friends from different places around the world, so I’m fairly used to deciphering accents. We’ve had friends from France, India, Germany, South Africa, Gambia, Trinidad, Japan, and I’m sure that there are others I can’t think of right now.

Not to mention my entire family is off the boat from Italy, and therefore can’t pronounce any word without adding a vowel to the end of it (another story for another time, but my 99yr old grandmother totally made up another name for my husband b/c his wasn’t guido enough. Mortifying? Yes)

We also spent 4 months backpacking through Europe traveling to 12+ European countries, and we were able to communicate fairly well in almost all of them.

THE POINT IS…I don’t usually make a total ass of myself when speaking to those who did not grow up with English as their native tongue. I’m sure you can see where this is going.

Last week we decided to check out a local Hindu Temple. This place was absolutely gorgeous – so we got our cameras out and started walking around taking some pictures. Josh starts chatting it up with one of the guards and finds out that we can go inside and look around. As you can probably guess, this guard had a VERY strong Indian accent.


Guard: Yes you can certainly go inside. The entrance is right there.

Me: Oh, well, I’m just not dressed to go in I don’t think (I’m wearing jeans and a t-shirt and TRYING not to be disrespectful)

Guard: No no, you are dressed fine. Go in! It’s beautiful.

Josh: Can we bring our cameras in?

Guard: You can bring them in, but cannot take pictures inside. You just cannot wear SWORDS inside

Me: Haha! Well we don’t have any SWORDS!! Haha. Ha.

Guard: Looks at me like I’m a total asshole Ok. The entrance is there.

Me: Thanks!! Have a great day!

So we walk through the door, and there’s a sign that says “No shoes” and a bunch of cubbies to put your SHOES in. Yeah. Not SWORDS. SHOES.

Awesome.

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I just had my first experience falling on a treadmill. I’m not sure whether to be embarrassed or proud, so I’m going with proud (that nothing is broken)

One minute I’m running (OK fine, vigorously walking), and then I find myself totally distracted by the realization that I completely forgot to paint a second coat of minty green paint on the wall to my left, and next thing you know I’m all

TUMBLE TUMBLE TUMBLE

And then I’m on the floor of my spare bedroom with the treadmill still goin’ strong next to me and scrapes on my knees and hand.

That’s right, I used to be a dancer. But more importantly, WTF was I thinking not doing a second coat of paint on ONE HALF of ONE WALL? And has anyone else noticed?! I’m pretty sure I didn’t stop and hit the crackpipe halfway through my afternoon of painting, and it certainly wasn’t a conscious decision. Did I forget to open a window? Are there other unfinished walls in my house? I’m a really as “special” as people think?

The funniest part? Probably 10 minutes prior to my near-death fall, I had joked to Josh saying “We really should think about moving the treadmill away from the wall. You know, in case you fall one day. HAHAHA”

Ahhh, karma. I love you too.

Our neighbors went down to Miami for a mini-vacation, and since we watched THEIR kitties while they were gone, they brought Gus a new toy.
He LOVES it
Checkin it out

Hmmm

Josh prodding it so he’ll attack

REOR

AND consider the flamingo destroyed. Ouch

DUDE.  For those who aren’t blessed (?) enough to live in the southern half of the country, I need to let you in on a little secret.

4inches of snow = BLIZZARD

As in, roads shut down.  Businesses closed.  All milk, tp, and beer GONE from The Krogers.

It also brings out the inner kid in all of us, which could be why even though there aren’t any kids on our street there was a giant snowball fight last night.  Boys vs. Girls.  I may or may not have been hit in the face with a snowball….but I’ve never claimed to have any of that hand-eye “coordination” nonsense.

Anyway.

We headed out on the “treacherous” roads this morning (as in, my husband woke me up at 6:30AM like a kid on Christmas.  A kid on Christmas who brought mommy a very large cup of coffee.  Smart kid.) to take some pictures.

I love this vintage look.

Have I mentioned that my husband is my favorite?

He’s my favorite

Just making sure it’s safe…

This thing was like 9ft tall.  Made out of 4 inches of snowfall.  BEAT THAT CANADA