I can’t sleep.  This NEVER happens to me.

Usually I’m that annoying person who’s head hit’s the pillow and within 10 seconds I’ve hit a REM cycle, complete with open mouth breathing and the occasional dribble of drool.  (Totally hot, I know)

But not tonight!  Not now.  Nope.  I’ve been laying here for OVER AN HOUR and not one wink of the good stuff.  I even tried meditating.  Josh said he tried it earlier this week when he couldn’t sleep, but unfortunately for me it goes something like this

Ok… in through the nose, out through the mouth…shit I can’t breathe through my nose….stupid pollen…FOCUS…Breathe…maybe I should breathe in rhythm with Josh….breathe, breathe, breathe…shit how is he not hyperventalating? Who breathes this fast while sleeping?….FOCUS!….breathe….breathe….of course the cats would choose NOW to lick each other clean 6 inches from my head…that’s really a weird sound up close….breathe….breathe….breathe….FUCK

So, now I’m even more distracted than I was before the “meditation”.  And now that I’m thinking about it, I’m pretty sure that when Josh told me about the meditation technique he was complaining that it didn’t work.

Well screw you , hot yoga man from my home video (do they even call them that anymore?  Is it now a home dvd?), I don’t need your au natural breathing nonsense.  I sat up and went for the big guns (love you zanax!) about 15 minutes ago, and just had my first big yawn.

Wish me luck getting to dreamland, because I can guaranDAMNtee you that tomorrow night in a cabin with the in laws will not go over so well on less than 5hrs of sleep.

Advertisements