I am tired. So tired. Exhausted may be the better word for my fragile state of mind today. Yesterday about did me in.

It started at work (of course!), and while it’s totally pointless to go into all of the mundane and exasperating details that made yesterday a total cluster fuck, I will say this: if anything has gone wrong in your life or job, please blame me. Because according to everyone else at my office, IT’S MY FAULT.

You failed your drug test? My bad! I should have warned you that smoking the J right before you teetee in a cup was a bad idea

Didn’t pass a background check? My fault! It totally slipped my mind to expunge your record

Forgot you had a conference call? I’ll take that one too! I forgot to be the personal secretary to ALL 700 EMPLOYEES

For the record, I have given my team a mascot: Sally the Scapegoat.

Also, our color is red, for all of the blood that pours out when you STAB US IN THE BACK. We’re going to wear our color every Friday….really ramp up the team building over here.

On the drive home I attempted to take some deep breaths to relax (difficult to do when you can’t breathe through your nose…ends up more like panting), and stir up some amazing mental images of giant glasses of wine and huge servings of homemade lasagna. Yum and yum. I get home, have said glass of wine and giant lasagna, and all begins to right itself in the world.

Then, I’m not really sure what happened.

One minute, Josh and I are watching Modern Family, and the next minute we’re in a deep conversation about the state of our finances (which is not exactly ideal), and then I’m crying hysterically and I can’t stop. What the hell?

The thing is, after we bought our house last year, we knew things were going to be tight for awhile, as I imagine is fairly common when you buy your first home. However, at the time we were both in sales jobs and blindly optimistic about what the economy would bring for us in the coming year. We both assumed that things would pick up in our field (we were both in the same), and that we would be making more money in a year’s time.

However. Things got a little sticky around July, when I reached a mental breaking point and up and quit my job. It wasn’t a decision we came to lightly, but in the end we decided that my mental health was more important than the income being provided. I got a new job that makes, surprisingly, a little more money for the amount of work I do, but it’s still not near what we thought I would be making.

Also, nothing in Josh’s world picked up AT ALL. In fact, thing have slowed down even more, which is almost unfathomable because they were moving like an effing slug before. All of this means that things are tight – really, really, REALLY tight. So, yeah. Great luck this year. Excuse me while I wipe up the sarcasm pooling at my feet.

Summary: terrible day at work + hormones + financial stress = uncontrollable tears.

At least my sinuses are so congested that the tears weren’t accompanied by the usual flood of snot. Yay?

Fortunately I have an UH-MAY-ZING husband, who knows just when to switch from the usually pessimistic spouse to the fabulously! optimistic! Spouse. He held my hand and rubbed my back and handed me tissue after tissue. Then he ran a bath and got me a brandy and a zanax (don’t worry, I have a prescription! NOT A DRUGGIE), and offered me the last large piece of deliciously cheesy lasagna. The man truly knows how to make his wife a happy camper – offer drugs, alcohol, and carbohydrates laced with copious amounts of cheese. Works like a charm every time!

Think anyone at work will mind if I have my magic trio for lunch today?

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